The Blob

This is Hugh Mann, reporting live from the Oval Office. I finally got around to checking the blob logs of my new blob, and I noticed that the president himself stopped in for a visit. I now have two unique visitors to my blob! The president, and my only significant ‘other’.

Them and US!

So I called the president right away to make an appointment to see him, and I managed to get in today with my super special reporter powers and all. They had a small unmarked private jet pick me up. I asked them why Air Force One didn’t come for me, and the pilot said that Chelsea rented it for the weekend. He promised he’d let me fly the plane from the copilot’s seat, though, so that was fun.

When I arrived the secret service guys gave us some oust and room deodorant so we could get down to a pow wow right away to discuss this zombie monster vampire Jesus rocket problem. We spent the first few minutes amazed and wondering out loud at the beauty and mysteriousness of the cosmos, and didn’t spend any time arguing over its possible creation at all. Before he got too drifty, I reminded the president of the real world seriousness of the problems of the planet Earth, and then I filled in the prez with the facts on the ground, and he got on the horn almost immediately and called around and guess what? The laboratory experiment going on at the House of Representatives appears to have violated several city municipal electrical ordinances, and he got the DC Public Service Commission guys to pull the power, which apparently they were getting from Constellation NewEnergy.

I stood amazed at how quickly people jumped at his command and how fast the problem got solved. From the verbal and cell phone reports that we are now getting from within the House (as they are now without power) it appears the illegal legislative probing of the eighth dimension was aborted in time to stop the resurrection of Jesus, and all that remaining on the podium stand, is a blob of oozing protoplasm with numerous and apparently human appendages protruding and flailing around. In the middle of that we got a call from the NSA that both their alien lifeform and time lord boards are blinking red and yellow all across the board as well, so it’s hard to say what’s really going on. I know Congressman Rohrabacher has some good contacts in the extraterrestrial world, so we both were speculating that he may have pulled a few strings with favors and IOUs all of these DC guys have in their pockets. And you know those Men in Black are gonna be all over this story too.

The new quantum teleportation technique still needs a little work, though. The Prez promised that his science staff would look into it just as soon as they got a chance.

Oops, the buzzer is a buzzing and the telephone is all lit up with flashing lights and stuff, and that red phone in the corner is blinking, and now the secret service guys are pounding on the door. Something is up, and I see the prez is lighting up a cig and blowing smoke around the room, gotta go, see ya later Mr. President, thanks a billion or two.

This is Hugh Mann, reporting live, from the hood.