The Blob

Dead Sea Scroll Jesus Mosaic

Image by growabrain

Thus sayith the lord, or so they say. This is Hugh Mann reporting live, from Jerusalem, in Palestine, where the occupied territory authorities, and the villagers and refugees and concentration camp inmates alike are all dazed in disbelief upon hearing the news that the lord himself is opposed to solid rocket fueled missiles in any way shape or form. That includes bullets and mortars too, apparently. The orthodoxy is in feverish meetings as we speak, trying to determine where Scud missiles stand in the lord’s view, and whether the lord’s wishes extend only to orbital vehicles, and that perhaps suboribital and ballistic projectiles might be exempt from the lord’s decree. Other’s are questioning the veracity of the lord’s alleged utterances completely, indeed, many are now questioning the existence of the creator itself. Could not SRBs be attached to the sides of the Jesus rocket, making him even more powerful and omnipotent? What about the miracle of the Jesus rocket’s resurrection? Many of our most experienced Shamans claimed to have witnessed the miraculous transformation in person on the floor of the most holy house of worship, surely that is sufficient to prove God’s existence! Are we not loyal to the immortal Zombie spirit? These are just a few of the questions that now torment the faithful across the space blogoshere on this eventful day.

It’s going to be a long hot summer.